Bible Women: Tamar, Sister of Absalom

2 Samuel 13: 1-20

In a previous study of Bathsheba, we learned of King David's sin of adultery and of his plot to have Bathsheba's husband killed.  Because of this, in 2 Samuel 12:9-10 Nathan the prophet, speaking the words of the LORD, tells King David "Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the LORD, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Amnon.  Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife."

And so, we have the tragic story of Tamar, daughter of David, sister of Absalom, half-sister to Amnon.  2 Samuel 13:1 “and it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.”  But this was a not a pure love of a brother for a sister, no, Amnon according to V2 was “so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her." This statement brings out that he lusted after her, but because she was a virgin, he hesitated to carry through with his emotions.  How much better it would have been for Tamar and for Amnon if he would have listened to his conscience.  James 1:14-15 "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.  Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death."  But also that, as believers, by the Holy Spirit we have the power to resist temptations James 4:7-8 "Submit yourselves therefore to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.  Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded".

And then we find in V3 that "Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother:". Jonadab was Amnon's cousin, and he possessed that terrible quality "Jonadab was a very subtil man"  As in Genesis 3:1 "Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made" Jonadab notices Amnon's troubled countenance and asks Amnon V4 "why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day?  wilt thou not tell me?" to which Amnon admits "I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."  Rather than being a true friend and helping Amnon to overcome his obsession for Tamar, Jonadab shows his evil mind by giving Amnon a plan to fulfill his desires - V5 "And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand." Not only deceive an innocent maiden, but bolder than that, involve the King of Israel in the deception!  Truly Jeremiah 17:9 "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"  But we must also pay close heed to the next verse Jeremiah 17:10 "I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings."

 

Instead of rebuking Jonadab for such a terrible plan, Amnon rushes headlong into bringing it to fruition V6 "So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand"  As King David desired Bathsheba, and went to great lengths to have her, his own son is following in his footsteps.

And so, believing the lie, David in V7 "sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house; and dress him meat." It is well to notice here that Tamar is living in the king's house at this point, and, as will be pointed out in V18 "she had a garment of divers colors upon her: for with such robes were the kings daughters that were virgins appareled"  By her clothing all who saw her knew that this maiden was the daughter of the King, and that she was a virgin.

Tamar is an obedient daughter, and so, no questions asked, she goes to Amnon V8 "So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down.  And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes."  We can see her ministering to her supposedly sick brother, not knowing what is about to befall her.

Amnon refuses to eat, and sends out everyone V9 “and she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat.  And Amnon said Have out all men from me.  And they went out every man from him.” no doubt so there will be no witnesses either to intervene, or to report what has happened.  Tamar still does not realize what he has planned because she obeys when Amnon tells her V10 to "Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand.  And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother." Again it is established that Amnon is her brother.  Now the trap is sprung, V11 "And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister."  Tamar tries valiantly to dissuade him, she knows that his desire is both against the law in Israel - Leviticus 18:9, 11 "The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.  The nakedness of thy father's wife's daughter, begotten of thy father, she is thy sister, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness", and she knows that she would be greatly shamed, and that he would be thought very foolish to take his sister this way - V12-13 "And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.  And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel.  Now therefore speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from thee."  Tamar meant that she would be given to Amnon as his wife, being his half-sister.

But then the terrible act takes place V14 "Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her".  What a terrible scene, the girl is overtaken by one who is much stronger, and worse than that, her half-brother. Her mortification must have been complete.

And then, to worsen the matter, immediately Amnon's so called love for his sister turns to extreme hatred, V15 "Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her.  And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone." Tamar recognized that turning her away compounds his actions, and so she pleads with him V16 "And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me"  One might think that Amnon would be remorseful and repent, V16 continues "But he would not hearken unto her."

Amnon has fulfilled his desire and now wants nothing more to do with Tamar.  His sister is now called "this woman" as if she is some unknown person he has used for his pleasure and now wants to leave at his request.  V17 "Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her."  He will make sure that Tamar will not be able to enter his house again.

Now is mentioned the beautiful garment that Tamar wore. V18 “she had a garment of divers colors upon her: for with such robes were the king’s daughters that were virgins appareled.  Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her.”, She is bodily put out of the house, and the door is bolted after her  Now where can she go? She cannot in good conscience continue wearing the garment of a virgin daughter of the king.

V19 "Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying."

Now Absalom, her full brother enters the picture. V20 "...Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing..." Some would say that Absalom did not think it of much importance what Amnon did to his sister and that is why he tells her "hold now thy peace...regard not this thing...", but I strongly believe that in light of the outcome two years later, Absalom wanted to be the one to avenge his sister, and by keeping it to herself, he would have that opportunity.

And so the last we hear of Tamar is in V20 "So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house".  We do not know if she ever returned to the house of the King, or if she ever married.

We do know that Absalom hated Amnon so much for his actions, that he bided his time for two years, speaking neither good nor bad to him.  And after two years he had opportunity to have his servants kill Amnon.  2 Samuel 13:22-29.

Truly Nathan the prophet's words to David came to pass, Tamar is defiled by her brother, who in turn is murdered by Absalom's servants at his command.  Truly James 1:14 - 15 is fulfilled, and 2 Samuel 12:10 continues.

vcg/August  2015